Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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