There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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