well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
