i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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