you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
