I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
