question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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