Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
