So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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