Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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