dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
