i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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