dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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