His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
