there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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