I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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