I think I won the penis lottery.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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