bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
