You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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