would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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