yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
