On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
