White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
