i need an iv and a liver transplant
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
