there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
