I will die if light touches me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
