i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
