before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
