Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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