I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
