So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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