yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is Oprah even human
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
