My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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