oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
