I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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