Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
