Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
