so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
