you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
