Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
