Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
