a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
