well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
