dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
