he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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