You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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