At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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