i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so explain again why im purple
no
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
