I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
