Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
