You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
