I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
