The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
two words: eviction party
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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